My Nana Flo Comes to Tea on Sundays

My Nanna Flo comes to tea on Sundays. She kisses me on the lips an' her skin feels all funny. It's ok. I suppose, but I'm glad it's just on Sunday. She dribbles her soup an' me dad gives a funny look up at the ceiling while me mum wipes her mouth for 'er.
We 'ave to go to Mass on Sunday 'cause me mum and dad get really tired and have to go for a sleep on Sunday. Me dad says that me an' our Billy have to go church or we'll go to Hell. He says that him and me mum can't sleep if me an' Billy are in the house when they go upstairs. I don't like going to Mass, it's cold in that big church, an, Father Clancy don' alf shout sometimes.
On Tuesdays when Father Clancy walks down our street to get all the money from our dads all of the kids hide. You don' want to be doing anything that you shouldn't when Father Clancy comes marchin' down the street wearing  'is big black cloak. Even the old witches' curtains twitch a bit on Tuesday.
But that's two days away and I can easily hide behind our Billy in the church tonight. Anyway, we'll be near the back so we can get out quick after the communion.

"C'mon you two, Church. Now!"
"But it's freezin' dad, an' our Billy feels sick."
"Well stick yer gloves an' your 'ats on then."
"I've lost mine." Hee hee!
"They're in the cupboard under the stairs Jack love."
"Thanks mum."
C'mon then, or you'll have your grandma here before you've even left."
"We're goin' now dad, just getting me gloves on. Can't see a thing under these stairs. Are you and me mum goin' up for a sleep when me an' our Billy are out dad?"
"Never you mind about me an' your mum Jack Dooley, just get yourself off to Mass."
"I'm only askin' dad, "cause what if me nan gets here an' you and me mum are asleep and you can't hear her knockin' and she can't get in and she freezes to death on our step an' me an' our Billy find her frozen an' all stiff when we get back from church?"
"Don't talk like that Jack love."
"Sorry mum."
"GET GOING!"
"Ok dad."
"And Don't slam the...never mind."

"Body of Christ"
"Amen"
"Body of Christ"
"Amen"
"Body of Christ"
"OUR LEN" Hee hee
"Hmmmm!."
"Owww, Ger'off Billy."
"The Lord Be With You"
"And Also With You, Amen"

"Quick, Billy hurry up or we'll be squashed, here comes fat Annie."
"Wow, look Billy, It's snowing. Catch.. Sorry. Hee hee"

There's my nan in the chair by the fire. She's asleep. She looks sort of happy,  just sittin' there. I wonder what she's dreaming about?. If she wakes up now she'll kiss me on the lips. I'll go watch me mum getting' the dinner ready.
 

"What's for dinner mum?"
Hello Jack love, is your nan awake?"
"No, she's snorin' by the fire. Hee hee."
"You sound more like your Father every day Jack Dooley, don't talk about your
nan like that."
"Sorry mum. What we avin' for dinner then mum?"
"Lamb. Here, make yourself useful, chop up this mint for me."
"It looks like nettles mum, does it sting?"
"No love, that's just garden mint."
"How do they get it to go white and crunchy then mum?"
"Ask your father. He'll know."
"I will when he gets back from the pub."
"I hope you and our Billy stayed right to the end of Mass, You know Father Clancy will tell me on Tuesday if you left early.
"Err, yes mum."
"Good lad."
"Me dad says that Father Clancy has got eyes like a shit'ouse rat mum, is that.."
"JACK DOOLEY!"
"Sorry mum, it's just what me dad says."
"I'll be 'avin serious words with your father when he gets in."
"Sorry mum."
"Here, pass me that mint now. Thank you."
"Will you go get one tub of lard from the cold slab and bring it here for me?"
"Ok mum, shall I open it and put it in the roasting dish?"
"Just half of it in the dish Jack."
"Ok."
"Why are you puttin' vinegar in the mint mum?"
"To make it go further, there's four of us here tonight, remember."
"Oh yes."
"Are we 'avin gravy and crispy roast spuds tonight mum?"
"Potatoes Jack love, potatoes!"
"Me dad says spuds doesn't he mum."
"Your father says a lot of things he shouldn't in front of you kids."
"I know. Hee hee"
Just check those dried peas in that pan for me, see if they pop when you squeeze one."
"Ok."
"Well?"
"They're poppin."
"Good, pass them over here and I'll get them on the stove."
"How long will it be now mum?"
"Not too long now Jack, it'll be ready for your father getting in from his drink. Just go check on your nan for me now."

 

On Sunday we have a roast dinner at our house, and we have a puddin'. We have fruit from a tin and evap' milk poured all over it. Sometimes we have fairy cakes which me mum bakes.
I love the smell in our house when me mum bakes fairy cakes, it's all warm and floury. I can still smell it when I'm in bed on Sunday night, even under the blanket. It's better that than our billy's stinky feet.
Me nan has her dinner and then goes back to sleep in front of the fire, she doesn't say much anymore me nan, not since the war me mum says. That's when me grandad went missing, Somewhere in Acton it was, I think. You'd think they'd be able to find him though, Acton isn't that big.
Me mum gets on the piano and me dad sings those funny songs on Sunday nights. It's great. Then me mum makes me an' our billy a big mug of ovaltine before we go to bed.
The Jacksons across the street have just got a television and me dad says that we are getting' a radio next week.
I don't really want us to get a television because me dad says that we'll have to get rid of the piano to make room for it. I don't think I want us to get rid of the piano.
What will we do on Sunday night if we get rid of the piano