Jack Dooley at Christmas

Oooo eck, I heard me mum say that Father Clancy is comin’ to our ‘ouse tonight. What ‘ve I done now? Bet he knows I skipped benediction last Wednesday, or took holy communion without confession last Sunday. Bet I’m for it now. Right on top of Christmas too.

 ‘Jack, don’t get out of your uniform just yet son. Father Clancy is coming to see your dad tonight.’
‘Me dad?’
‘Yes, who else would he want, …Jack?’
‘Errr…I dunno. What’s me dad done now?. He bin down the docks again?’
‘Hey….I heard that you cheeky young scamp.’
‘Sorry dad…..What does he want you for?’
‘Never you mind, you just sit quiet and mind your p’s and q’s when he gets here.’
‘Ok dad.’
‘Go sit on the step and give us a shout when e’s at the top of the street.’
‘Ok dad.

It’s goin’ dark already, the lecky lights are on too. Funny colour for lights, orange, looks sort of weird in this fog. Wonder wot me mum and dad got me for Christmas? Wonder if it’s that big wagon with all the cars on the back. Double decker?
Bet the big tree is all lit up now in town, wonder when me mum’s takin’ me to town to see the lights?
Not as good as Blackpool those ones, I still want to see them though. Wonder where Mick is, bet he’s at alter boy practice. ‘Ang on, he can’t be if Father Clancy is……..

‘Evening young Jack’
‘Ooo eck.’
‘You’ll be getting piles sitting on that cold step lad, get y’self inside and let your dad know I’m about.’
‘Yes father……..Daaaad !….’es here.’

‘Put that tot of whiskey under the couch right now and fold that paper, he’s here.’
‘Bloody hell, a man can’t ‘ave a warming tot in ‘is own house nowadays.’
‘And stop mumbling, Sit up.’
‘Aye.’

‘Come in Father Clancy, take off your gown and sit by the fire.’
‘I’ll be thankin’ you Mrs Dooley, Good evening Mr Dooley.’
‘Evening Father.’
‘I must be getting old…I missed you at mass last Sunday, you must ‘ve been right at the back.’
‘Errr, yes that’s right Father, I was right at the back.’
‘You two had not been quarrelling had you, seeing as Mrs Dooley was right at the front then?’
‘Father Clancy.. would you care for a nice cup of tea to warm your bones?’
‘Thank you Mrs Dooley, but a wee glass of what’s in that bottle I can just see under the couch would warm them even more.’
‘I’ll just get a clean glass.’
‘Well then Mr Dooley, I’ve come to see you about your covenant. I’ve noticed that you’ve been a bit behind of late. No problems with money I hope? And your work…Your job is going well? It’s just that the church roof is in dire need of……  ……   ....

They’ll be at it for ages in there, and I’m not going in ‘til me dad has forgot that I forgot to warn ‘im.
I’d better get up, don’t want to get piles. I wonder what piles are? Me dad’s got piles, I heard ‘im tellin’ me mum that ‘is piles were killin’ ‘im, and that worky down at the docks said that he was driving piles…..Anyway, they hurt so I don’t want them.

‘Jack….Jack…here, get your coat on and run down to Jollys’ for a silver shilling before the lights go out. And while Father Clancy is here too, that would be all wouldn’t it. Here, take this, hurry now.’
‘Can I get a penny bag for goin’?’
‘Here then, go on, get your coat and hurry back.’
‘Thanks mum.’

Mr Jolly has got loads of coloured lights around his shop window for Christmas. And he’s painted white snow in the corners of each bit of glass. Last year he gave me a whole bag of sweets for nothing, just because it was Christmas. The fog is lifting now, but it’s not ‘alf cold. I wonder if it will snow tonight.
Wow…That’s even more than he had up last year. Merry Xmas? What’s that about?

‘Jack Dooley!....You’re annoying the customers, stop that right now.’
‘Sorry Mr Jolly, me foot……..’
‘Got stuck, I know….just stand still and wait your turn.’
‘Hee hee.’

Wow.. Mr Jolly has got toys in ‘is shop for Christmas. There’s a Johnny Seven! I wish me dad was rich like the Johnstones, I bet I would get one of those if he was. I bet I would get everything if me dad was rich.
I bet me mum would get a new cooker and our Billy would get all those books he wanted last year but only got one because that was all me mum could get ‘im.

‘Move up Jack, Come on.’
‘Sorry Mr Jolly, I was just thinking.’
‘What can I do for you Mr Dooley?’
‘Have you got a silver shilling for the lecky meter?’
‘I think I can manage that for you, let me see….Here, here’s one. Is it just the one you want then?’
‘And a penny bag of sweets.’
‘Please!’
‘Please.’
‘You just wait there, I’ve got a little something in the back for you, just a minute now.’
‘Ok Mr Jolly.’
‘Here you are Jack, Merry Christmas. And don’t you go eating them all at once and making yourself sick now.
 And don’t be tellin’ everybody or they’ll all want one.’
‘Wow…Thanks Mr Jolly, I won't, Thanks, Happy XMASS to you too.’
‘Away you go now, and straight home now.’
‘Bye Mr. Jolly.’
‘And don’t slam the……..never mind.’

I love Christmas. Everybody is so different at Christmas. Everybody smiles and says ‘Hello….Happy Christmas.’
Me dad has got a whole week off work too, and I’m going to his works Xmass party on Saturday. Me mums goin’ to cook a whole chicken for Xmass dinner and me nan is comin’ round too.
Christmas……XMASS….Christmas.......Xmass, Naahhh
Christmas is better…. I love Christmas.
The fog’s gone now an’ I think it’s startin’ t’ snow.
It is…….it’s snowin’
‘Yessssss!’